How do Vietnamese people communicate with others? (1)

In order to have a grasp of Vietnamese people’s communication style, it is essential that you look into their cultural background to understand how it affects their way of communicating with others.

Regarding their cultural background, there are two basics you should know: Vietnamese culture is considered to be a high-context culture and it is affected by Confucianism. The first question that appear in your mind must be: “What is a high-context culture”?

Well, it is the research of Edward T.Hall – a famous cross-culture researcher and its definition is a little bit too academic to explain. To put it simply, in high-context culture, people don’t always mean what they say. Instead, they look into what is not said – the body languages, expressions, emotions and other background information regarding the relationship among speakers to catch the deeper and underlying messages of conversations.

In Vietnam, communication is seen as an art form or way of engaging someone. As a result, conflicts are often avoided. Relationships are built slowly and depend on trust. Personal bonds and informal agreements are preferred over meticulously worded legal documents.

Regarding Confucianism, it has left a deep impact on Vietnamese culture after 1900 years of dissemination. Its two fundamental principles: Respect for elders and knowledge as well as self-discipline still affect the way Vietnamese people communicate with others.

Affected by Confucianism and derived from a high-context culture, Vietnamese people have some notable characteristics reflecting in the way they communicate with others, which will be described below.

Photo credit: Medium

1. They put great emphasis on respect

It is widely said that respect is the cornerstone of interpersonal relationships in Vietnam. Respect plays an important part in any kind of relationship, whether it is among members in family, colleagues in work place or teachers and students in school. The ones who earn respect are the elders, those of higher social status like senior, teacher or professor. It is worth noting that debating or arguing with the elders or seniors can be considered an act of disrespect in Vietnam. For example, a student has to listen and follow what the teachers say, any sign of disobedience will be viewed as misconducts and should be avoided.

This characteristic can be considered as an influence of Confucianism in Vietnamese culture, which is reflected clearly both in their verbal and non-verbal communication.

Vietnamese people use a lot of verbal expressions to show respect to the elders and seniors. For instance, they:

• Ask a stranger his or her year of birth to know how to address that one appropriately.

• Use a wide range of pronouns to address the one they are talking to. For example, the Vietnamese will call someone older than them “sister” or “brother” instead of addressing them by their first name.

• Add interjections like “dạ”, “vâng ạ” (which means “Yes” in English) at the end of sentence when talking to the elders.

• Bow slightly

• Avoid eye contact with the elders when speaking or being spoken to. This expression, however, is considered to be suspicious by Western standards.

Vietnamese people pay respect to the elders and seniors

2. They pay attention to their self-image

Vietnamese people care very much about how others perceive them. It leads to “face” becoming the popular concept in Vietnam. “Face” indicates one’s reputation, honor and dignity. By complimenting people, showing them respect or doing something to increase their self-esteem, you give them face. Similarly, people can lose face by being criticized or behaving in a way that is considered socially inappropriate.

Regarding their self-image, as affected by Confucianism, Vietnamese people value modesty and self-restraint. It means that despite trying to behave appropriately to deserve respect from others, the Vietnamese are reluctant to receive any compliments from them.

These two contradictory characteristics in their ideal self-image become a significant communication pattern of Vietnamese people illustrated both verbally and non-verbally.

Verbally, they tend to:

• Avoid making mistakes in their speech as this could lead to them losing face. They usually think very carefully before speaking and choose their words wisely so that they will not say any inappropriate words that cause harm to their self-image.

• Avoid criticizing others. Part of the reason is that they want to maintain harmony and avoid conflicts. The rest is because they themselves are sensitive to criticism and understand that it should never be committed to others.

• Politely protest or deflect compliments that others give them in an effort to remain humble. In this case, saying “thank you” may be interpreted as a lack of humbleness.